...A Fragment of Life's Heart...

            In Natalie Portman’s recent movie, Black Swan, she plays a young ballerina hoping to make to leading role in Swan Lake.  During her efforts to be the lead, her director tells her she must not only be the elegant, pure, naïve white swan but she must be able to portray and experience the black swan, the shadow side that is intense, seductive, spontaneous, creative.             It seems that just the word shadow side or reference to it invokes either a gasp of disapproval or a sigh of longing.  Either way this side is fairly unfamiliar, unexperienced, unevolved and feared.  How interesting it is though that deep spiritual and emotional work refer to this part of us as the place we must go in order to heal.  Remember the “dark night of the soul”?  I can’t help but think this is a reference to the shadow, the Black Swan of our lives.  As with most things though...

Sometimes when I sit down to write or just want to write, I feel as though I must find this enlightened state from which to write.   But I don’t always feel very enlightened or inspired. In fact I usually write because I’m not feeling especially on top of it but seem to use writing as a sadhana/practice in which I might cultivate those feelings, just like sitting to meditate in hopes of stilling or at least becoming more aware of my mind, body, experience in this moment. So here I sit, this time on an airplane, wanting to write but with no idea about what or why.   Writing, practicing, however we may practice in each moment, feels like it’s about connection.   As a way to connect to my Self, my world, my experiences, & my sense of the Divine.   The past 6 weeks of this new year have been filled with a sense of freedom and exploration and childlike curiosity but with an element of adult maturity … or not depending on the moment and the experience. It’s as tho...