Freedom & Words

Sometimes when I sit down to write or just want to write, I feel as though I must find this enlightened state from which to write.  But I don’t always feel very enlightened or inspired. In fact I usually write because I’m not feeling especially on top of it but seem to use writing as a sadhana/practice in which I might cultivate those feelings, just like sitting to meditate in hopes of stilling or at least becoming more aware of my mind, body, experience in this moment.

So here I sit, this time on an airplane, wanting to write but with no idea about what or why.  Writing, practicing, however we may practice in each moment, feels like it’s about connection.  As a way to connect to my Self, my world, my experiences, & my sense of the Divine. 

The past 6 weeks of this new year have been filled with a sense of freedom and exploration and childlike curiosity but with an element of adult maturity … or not depending on the moment and the experience. It’s as though after 28 years of repression and restriction and judgment I have taken a sabbatical, maybe permanently, and decided to free my Self from myself in hopes of truly finding or better, remembering, my eternal connectedness to all things human and Divine, because aren’t they one in the same anyways?  All the little and big boxes that we try to fix ourselves into in order to make ourselves feel what Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita tells me already are – infinite, whole and eternal.  It’s only when we forget this and buy into the little and sometimes BIG & PARALYZING limited stories of our egos that we suffer and feel so desperate, alone, out of control, etc – what’s your personal poison?

Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is, describes a self-questioning process called The Work that helped her and thousands of others now climb out of the stories that cause us to prolong the past, invite the future, alter our innate wakefulness, fear appearances, and more (exactly the opposite of what Ram Dass encourages us to do for peacefulness).  The process entails simply challenging your story line with the question, “Is this true? Is this always true? Am I 100% sure that this is the truth?’ From here we either choose to stay stuck and further investigate why we feel it is true through justification and rationalization until we realize that NO, what we’re thinking, assuming, & judging is not necessarily the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me GOD!  Few things are black and white but our egoic minds would like us to believe it to be so…and thereby feed it with all sorts of habits and feelings and thoughts that creates suffering for us and the masses (aka the current world state).  Back to the questions, once we can see that there might in fact be holes the size of the one in the ozone layer in our stories, then light can come in (the good kind) and we can begin to see another, for darkness is merely the absence of light and punching holes or finding holes in our stories is exactly how we find light, find relief from what feels like unfair suffering and misery.  And in fact, all suffering is unfair and unnecessary according to most traditions but we seem to existentially enjoy creating and experiencing and blaming others for it.  Pain is unavoidable, suffering is totally optional.  The trick is to use our pain and/or suffering for transformation, softening, opening, healing versus allowing it harden, limit, blind, and separate us from the joy that is our innate birthright and in fact exists within us all the time  - infinite, whole, eternal – don’t forget. Katie has more questions and “turnarounds” but I’ll stop here and let you check them out if you choose or just send me an email and I’d be happy to share about them.  The point is to see that most of our thoughts are full of hot air, heavy & oppressive but EMPTY and easily releasable with dedicated practice and a sincere desire to be present and aware of this moment and its perfection. So choose your practice and throw yourself whole heartedly into it knowing that it will help you cross the river of suffering.  

Om Shanti.