The Helper

A client made a wise statement today about helping to the point of annoyance and helping others in order to feel good about oneself.  It hit me between the eyes and in the chest.  The double-edged sword of helping simply for the joy of it and as a way to show love/affection OR helping as a way to feel useful, a part of, or worthy.  Subtle differences and most actions we take are probably never clearly one or the other but some combination of the two, otherwise we'd be Enlightened Beings with no attachment either way.  But alas, human it is, human I am, even though my Soul tries to remind me I'm more than that by putting people in my life who give me a good dose of humble pie or sweet awareness.

Let go of that fear of being forgotten or dismissed.

What would it be like to let her miss you, let them "forget" you, even for a day?  Think of the joy that comes when you REMEMBER a loved one. Don't deprive others or yourself of that joy... just for today.  Remember your Self - feel the joy of coming home to me and the God within me - the place where all of us reside as one anyways.

By trying to "help" when help is not needed or asked for, I am trying to take another's power away by acting like they aren't capable of taking care of themselves. In the same vein though, I am surrendering all of my power to them because deep down I feel unworthy and unimportant if I am not helping or if they reject my desire to help.  How's that sword feeling?  

Solutions?  One Al-anon member talks about "staying in your own hula hoop."  If someone asks for help or presence, then go for it!  The belief that we must anticipate the needs of others and step in for them comes from a deficit model where nothing was safe and we had to guess to prepare ourselves for the worst.  Is that still your truth or has your situation changed on the outside but your head is still running the same old record on the inside?  Take a deep breath. Remember who you are and where you are.  As my teacher reminded me in class yesterday, look back at where you've been, where you've come from.  Then, remember it is where you were, NOT where you are.  So, BE HERE NOW.  The present moment is all we have so enjoy it, open your heart-mind to it and let it fill you up.

A Daily OM article said "guilt is temporary & unproductive, it is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy the way."  I was also reminded that I am the one who must forgive myself for my past actions so that I may be at peace and actually learn from them.  Berating myself keeps me stuck in the past and unable to learn from and transform my past actions into healthy new ways of being.  Let it go, let it flow.  Live for today for yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery (author unknown).  How long do I need to suffer?  Furthermore, why do I feel like I deserve to suffer?  Because my Soul is infinite, whole and eternal according to Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita.  It is only my thinking and acting that portrays an image of "flawed."  So which will I believe and invest my Life Energy into?  The story of who I think I am or the reality of who I AM - So Hum.

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