Choices
I think I wrote about this before but here it is again.
I keep being reminded that everything is a choice, thoughts, feelings, actions, words. And yet, it's hard to remember I get to choose when I'm being swamped by feelings & thoughts that aren't serving me or anyone else.
We can choose to be with a feeling, letting it flow through us or we can fight it, question it, analyze it, share it. The curious thing about choices is that whether I realize I'm choosing to do or say something, I'm still responsible for it. While Krishna says to be detached from the fruits of our actions, sometimes the fruits of our actions are unkind and need to be apologized and corrected, if we can't stop ourselves before potential harm is done. Usually when we find ourselves steeped in something and feel like we don't have choice, the best action to take is probably inaction or action that involves self-care and not the thing or person even partially being associated with the emotion/thought. If we can catch our thoughts and feelings first and let them marinate and come out through personal reflection and practice then we can act more wisely. Granted this is one of the hardest things to do when you've either ALWAYS told everybody everything as soon as you felt or thought it OR if you NEVER say or do anything until it builds up so much that you blow and half-truths come out, layered in passive-aggressive, blaming or "always/never" comments. Sound familiar? If not then good for you, you're further along the road to balancing head & heart than I am.
Another thing to notice is how much self-judging and analyzing goes on when we forget to discern which choice is best route towards expressing our truths. We end up beating ourselves harder than anyone else could or does which only creates more self-defacing behavior and potentially reinforces the old habit or voices that lead to the old habit because you feel powerless over yourself.
Remember, we always have choice and therefore power to do it the same or do it differently and hopefully we'll be gentle enough with ourselves and allow the gentleness and love of others to help us do it differently next time or the next or the next. Some things take relearning and relearning before finally setting in. Just like a room needs several coats of paint before it looks even and different from how it began.
Love yourself. Love others.
I keep being reminded that everything is a choice, thoughts, feelings, actions, words. And yet, it's hard to remember I get to choose when I'm being swamped by feelings & thoughts that aren't serving me or anyone else.
We can choose to be with a feeling, letting it flow through us or we can fight it, question it, analyze it, share it. The curious thing about choices is that whether I realize I'm choosing to do or say something, I'm still responsible for it. While Krishna says to be detached from the fruits of our actions, sometimes the fruits of our actions are unkind and need to be apologized and corrected, if we can't stop ourselves before potential harm is done. Usually when we find ourselves steeped in something and feel like we don't have choice, the best action to take is probably inaction or action that involves self-care and not the thing or person even partially being associated with the emotion/thought. If we can catch our thoughts and feelings first and let them marinate and come out through personal reflection and practice then we can act more wisely. Granted this is one of the hardest things to do when you've either ALWAYS told everybody everything as soon as you felt or thought it OR if you NEVER say or do anything until it builds up so much that you blow and half-truths come out, layered in passive-aggressive, blaming or "always/never" comments. Sound familiar? If not then good for you, you're further along the road to balancing head & heart than I am.
Another thing to notice is how much self-judging and analyzing goes on when we forget to discern which choice is best route towards expressing our truths. We end up beating ourselves harder than anyone else could or does which only creates more self-defacing behavior and potentially reinforces the old habit or voices that lead to the old habit because you feel powerless over yourself.
Remember, we always have choice and therefore power to do it the same or do it differently and hopefully we'll be gentle enough with ourselves and allow the gentleness and love of others to help us do it differently next time or the next or the next. Some things take relearning and relearning before finally setting in. Just like a room needs several coats of paint before it looks even and different from how it began.
Love yourself. Love others.
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